I know I should feel better about this as I'll have my D but I still question why can't my D have her mom there also. None of this makes any sense. I cannot believe that I made her so misearable--I refuse to believe it--I saw her happy.
John, it's called "re-writing of marital history," and it's a sad part of the "script" of nearly every affair. It's a way for them to back-justify their current behavior, and fit it within their moral code. I'm glad that you don't believe it -- you SHOULDN'T.
My wife was handwriting nice, NICE notes of love and devotion in my Valentine's Day and anniversary cards as recently as TWO MONTHS before her affair. I got so frustrated with her one day when she was spewing the "I haven't been in love with you for a long time" b.s. that I actually got out the cards, and showed her, and yelled "SO WERE YOU LYING THEN, OR ARE YOU LYING NOW???"
(wasn't productive, but it sure made me feel better )
Don't let that stuff get to you. The REALITIES of the current situation, as documented by Hooper's great "to-do" lists, are enough of a challenge for you right now without investing any more emotional energy in trying to "figure out" your wife.
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