Where does my fear come from? That if I cut him off, he will cut me off and sabotage my efforts to find employment and happiness. He knows everybody and I'm a frickin' homemaker and yes my biz would depend on me making connections and getting some publicity. Gross, I know, with "friends" like this, who needs enemies...I'm afraid of not just being alone but being antagonized and slandered (couldn't find a better word). And of course, my "love" for him makes it all the more intimidating to be positioned as his enemy...but we're getting there.
