The adventure continues--the saga goes on

[confusedinpa]

Dammit, why does this hurts so bad? I don't understand what I did to deserve this.

My therapist told me that the person who can hurt you the most is the person you have feelings for.

One thing that I'm reminded of when I get down is that my wife had been feeling this "pain/hurt" for all the years, ours is more recent. Now this doesn't excuse the behaviors.

My therapist told me that one person does not own the problem in the relationship. Both people do. Maybe it's not exactly 50/50, but it is never 100/0.

This may not make it feel any better, but you can at least know you did everything that you could have to done since the bomb. Right now, this is your wife's decision to head down this path.

As many have reminded in my situation/thread, you can't control what your wife (nor anyone else for that matter) does. If you try to, you will feel powerless. The only person you can control is yourself.

You can try to influence outcomes of others, but ultimately it is still there decision.

This is painful. This hurts. This sucks and is frustrating.

Hang in there and be grateful for what you do have.