I think she sees the changes that I am making and is confused and scared by some of them. I am mind reading here, but she may see the books as a problem and something that she can't control. In fact, she may be starting to be afraid that I am going to grow, and grow away from her, and that I may be the one who leaves her - a big change from her initial fantasies.
Mind-reading or not, I think this is pretty insightful. From my POV, WAS "needs" the LBS to remain "the same." The only way that ditching the marriage makes sense.
If you can follow the abstract logic here [and I mean that in the "I tend to be confusing" sense and not the "you're not that smart" sense] -- I'm the Walkaway. The M is losing "something" for me. I've "grown" out of it. "I love him/her but I'm not in love." Yada yada.
None of that script makes emotional sense if LBS is changing. Because, as MWD points out, change one thing in the inter-personal dynamic and lots of other things change, too.
But those changes torque WAS's reasoning (and rationale) all out of specs. Which is why we hear "wait a minute, I thought...." and "now you do X," and the like.
Good Christian Man Friend, who is also an avid consumer of techno-thriller books, used an example you "might" appreciate. In "The Hunt For Red October," in the story's climax the two boats -- Dallas and Red October -- sort each other out by pinging. GCMF said that, now that you've started down your new path SP old boy, WAW is not getting the "return ping" that she expects. Indeed, that she NEEDS.
And that's disconcerting. Because if the status-quo has changed, what is she to make of all the actions she's taken -- and plans to take but has yet to take -- that are predicated upon that SQ?
Cognitive Dissonance. I forget who brought that up in one of my earlier threads. But I can see why it's important -- indeed, though it's never made explicit, it's at the heart of the DB technology.
