Tried to call W today at work to find out when i would see S3 again, was told she was out sick. Thought to myself, no problem she is probably staying out today to watch him because my mother who always watches him is really sick(start of pneumonia). Call her cell - no answer, left message - she called back after I got home from work, she was really out sick and feeling miserable. Offered to watch S3 for her tomorrow(I would take day off of work or even half day if she dropped him off at preschool in morning). She told me she doesn't really feel like she will be able to work tomorrow - i told her so stay home and I'll get him first thing in morning. She said OK and i went to get ready to go for a bike ride. About 30 mins later as I was heading out door, she calls back, can he just sleep over the house tonight? I told her sure - when do you want me to get him - her answer right now. Told her I would - asked her if they ate any dinner - nothing - offered to pick her up some dinner or get her any medication if she wanted - she declined said she had some. Get to W's place - she answers the door - still in pajamas - looking exhausted and worn - i felt so bad for her - could tell by touching her head she was running a fever. Asked her to try and get some rest and feel better - kissed her on the head and took S3 and left.
How come it sounds so much easier to detach and GAL - and not show that I care for her as much as I do? I'm afraid that she may see it as trying to pursue her and just pull away more.
Found out tonight that she may have disconnected the text messaging option on our cell phone plan - seems like definitely on my phone, about 75% sure on her phone also - she said she was thinking about it - didn't think she really would - it was one of the things that led up to me being so jealous with her always texting a guy that she works with(claims she always talked about me with him) - maybe that EA is over with like she had told me a month ago(that she has nothing to talk about with him anymore since we separated). I could be wrong though she could also have limited who can text her - not going to question it for now, just going to let time take its course and have patience and view this as a positive step in the mean time. It does seem like communication between us may be starting to become a little more frequent - nothing about R or M - last thing I want to bring up. Besides right now its all about getting to be where I want to be in my life and being the person that i want to be. I can't change her, but I can change me, my attitude and goals, and from there she may follow suit and change also.
Me 35 W 30 S 3 M 7 : T 13 yrs Separated 2/20/09 My Story
