Slowly but surely - detach and 180

[hopefulinEG]

I learned that the PA was longer than I thought and the extent to which she has lied over and over. At this time I am so disgusted with her and it pretty much just killed off all the feeling I had for her. When I think about her and what she has done I think she is not someone that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I have really been more afraid of being alone than anything.

I am and always will be an optomist and I believe in till death do us part so I would always be willing to try if she REALLY wanted to (and she would have to prove it was REALLY). I am willing to do the work it would take if I thought it was mutual.

I am finding a lot of peace now being on my own and making new friends and getting new hobbies and activies and I am sick of the pain. Maybe I am just doing the ultimate LRT. Where you really go on with life and stop worrying if they will ever turn around.

I put my book away on the shelf and I'm not going to keep trying to "win" her back. As far as I'm concerned she doesn't exist in my new life and is just a babysitter. I will treat her with the same respect I would anyone but I will not bend over backwards to her every whim or be a doormat to her rude and mean behavior.