My mom left today for 4 days. With no warning. I think she is finally breaking down. She went to her village, she feels good there. I am happy for her only that my kids are out of school tomorrow, my dad cant take care of them, the babysitter cant come and I cant stay home. I texted H (no contact all day) and he called me and suggested he sleeps over tonight so the kids are not alone in the morning. I didnt want him here tonight but his help is of course welcome and appreciated and I agreed.
Today, I felt great. More energetic and calm. I actually think I did get to that point where my fear is smaller than my need to control my life. I know many of you think that I had no reason to wait this long while others think that I should try harder but this time I didnt hurry myself, I let things mature in my head and heart and I feel good about it. It feels right, you know? K
