H said that our work with Imago therapist helped and subsequent exercises but didn't want to continue because...x, y, z. Without the intention to salvage the R, I think it is hard to sustain the changes because it is actually working against what S wants...make sense? Still, it did help and illuminate and defuse some of his hostility.
"Yes we are separated but we are actively trying to work on our relationship because neither of us wants to get divorced." Kids aren't thinking D so I'm going to avoid that and we are not actively working on our R, BUT, I get the gist and I think the kids get that, for now, we are taking some space and working on ourselves (still hate the example it sets that "working on ourselves" means H shmoozing every night but what do I know? That is his path)...
As for the bills, I'm confused. I get from 25 that I need to take more extreme action. I am trying to figure out what that action will be. Having him in control of the finances doesn't assuage my anxiety (originally I took over paying them because he wasn't)...thinking, thinking...
