I'll let others comment on the totality of your post, but the one thing I would say is that if you DO take him back, I would only do it if he agrees to send the woman a "no-contact" letter, and he agrees to total transparency with you. That includes e-mail passwords, changing his cellphone # (and the new, detailed bill comes to you), etc. I'd be very concerned that his sudden interest in the marriage again is only because OW dumped him, and as soon as she comes back around, he's going to bolt again.
