New day...new thread...

[AJM]

Talk about good advice. Sheesh. Clue-by-fours abound

until much later, (after he wanted it to work and made that quite clear). Your h does not want to change

Yep, yep, yep! That's the key right there. The sooner you get that into your head and embrace it, the sooner you'll relax and move on with your own healing. You CANNOT change him. He can. He will eventually. May be a long long time. You won't help it be anything but longer until you realize that.

That statement really struck me. My WAS said something about how the MC really helped when talking a few days ago. She started out not wanting to go at all. I think until I read this, I wasn't ready to see it this way. Thanks for that 25 and AK (it is your thread after all.)

As for talking with family - let me just say that the less you say to them the better. Family can be a tough one and you make it very difficult for the two of you to reconcile at some future point if your family hates him. Tell your children the same thing you tell the family - Daddy and mommy (H and I) are working on some issues in our relationship right now. Yes we are separated but we are actively trying to work on our relationship because neither of us wants to get divorced.

Or something along those lines. You're good with words - smith it

You're working through this quite well AK. You are still bound by fear, but you are quickly working on it. 25 and I see the same when it comes to the finances. But let me put it another way - if he earns the money and you have to ask him for it, then you will forever be anxious about it. That will get between the two of you. You will be in fear. If you let him handle it, you may have to collect on his life insurance when he has that heart attack, but it will be in the control of the one that has that control. He will have to learn to deal with it and it's high time he does. (I doubt seriously he'll have a heart attack over it. Just illustrating the point and showing that I'm listening to you

AJ