Stress, WAW and life in general III

[AJM]

I think I have to remember that to love unconditionally, means, unconditionally. To return hurt with good thoughts and actions. That's incredibly difficult. The thoughts are the hardest, you know?

I see similar in my W. I see her struggling with herself. To find herself and to know herself. She related to me once that it wasn't that she didn't want to give more of herself to me, it was that she wasn't able to. That hurts because it says to me that she put other priorities in front of me. We've never done that prior.

It hurts. Waaah. Done.

To love unconditionally and to bring out the best in my Wife. That's my responsibility and that's what I would do for her or any other special person in my life. As for my needs - good question. There are more things I'm realizing I need and more that I realize I want. Whether or not she can be that person I do not yet know.

She mentioned to me that we hadn't divorced because neither of us gives up and we have to make sure we have no regrets. I have no regrets. I would do it all the same way.

I'm back to being a single dad. The jokes on her though - she has way more time than she thought she'd have. She still can't sleep and that's not healthy for her. I'm not in a position to help, but I do worry for her.

More later. Trying to get my mind right before I see her again later today.

AJ