First of all, I'd like to see a source for that 90% statistic, but let's just assume it's true. The reason I'm so in favor of doing everything possible to bust an affair as QUICKLY as possible, is:
- for every month an affair continues, there is a greater chance of their emotional bond strengthening. For women, especially, it is this emotional bond that is the hardest to break, why is why long-term EAs are actually harder to break up than short-term PAs;
- for every month an affair continues, there is a greater toll on the emotional health of the betrayed spouse. For men, especially, this can be particularly emasculating and damaging;
- for every month an affair is allowed to continue, there is a greater financial drain on the family. Legal fees, gifts for the affair partner, PIs, new clothing, dinner/drinks out, etc., can add up, and I've seen cheating spouses drain bank accounts and max out credit cards overnight;
- the longer an affair continues, the greater the risk for STDs, to both the cheating spouse and her betrayed spouse if you continue to ML.
- when there are children involved, the longer an affair continues, the greater the chances are that they'll be exposed to it.
- the longer an affair continues, the more the betrayed spouse loses their love for their cheating partner.
- if the marriage DOES end up reconciling, then the longer the affair went on the greater remorse and guilt the cheating spouse will have to deal with later.
I guess you can tell, I'm just not a big believer in what I call the "Little Bo-Beep Approach." You know, "leave them alone, and they'll come home, wagging their tails behind them." It's also been my experience that many people who claim that they are not doing anything for some sort of strategic or tactical reasons, are really just afraid to confront their cheating spouse.
