Seek compassion for others in your own sitch and here. I can hear the hurt and anger in your words. But I don't think that "these women" (not sure if I count as one of these or not in your mind, lol, as I was the LBS and tried to fix my SL, but please do count me among them as I understand and share their pain) feel a "need to cause so much destruction." Rather, they feel a need to have a life that is authentic and happy, rather than living a repressed, partially empty, and painful existence.
I have no idea what your sitch is, but the best chance you have for a good life is to seek compassion and understanding of others' pain that leads them to act poorly. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone hurts other people. Rather than hitting back, can you offer comfort for the pain driving their actions?
