PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[25yearsmlc]

Well it will change them. Accept that. So would a wrestling camp or a trip to Europe and not all the changes are bad or good. I don't mean to minimize this but just dealing w/ reality. I sat next to a 50 y/o woman on a long flight back from Europe who said her parent's divorce was "actually alright". They remained close geographically, and even the blended families EVENTUALLY did alright. She recalls the fighting before the Div and not a lot of it later. Her parents both remarried and are happier, and that was that. She also loves her step sister. So....years later it was Not all a total nightmare. I know you Try to imagine some scenarios wherein YOU are happily single or with someone else. Do the same for the kids. I mean maybe this woman was "in denial" but I don't think so. Sometimes kids get that the parents were no longer suited and they accept it. Sometimes they don't get it until later when they see someone like you HAPPY with another man. My older sister is a lot happier in this M than her first. Her ex left her with 3 kids after 22 years and b/c she had worked full time ALL their M and put him through law school, in THAT state she got NONE of his salary. He made twice her salary and paid her $150 per month in "alimony", until she remarried AND he got half the assets, etc. And he was a cheater...nice, huh? But she's happier. She told me she would "never go back to what she had with 1st h now that she knows what it's like to be a priority in a h's life"... Her ex did her a favor. NOW that the kids see HER happy, they are alright with things. That was the kicker; as long as she was wounded, things were harder for the kids but when she healed, they really began to. They see their dad now as a sad man; kind of a tragic figure. He remarried and guess what? His new wife is "high maintenance" (HIS words...)...

If a child has to worry that a parent is going to crash and burn, that's the type of thing that really scars them OR if one parent drops off the face of the earth. You cannot control that. If your h disappears, at least you'll have peace. ??
j-