It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[sandycay]

Well,

After a 24 hour moratorium on talking we did speak last night. I told him that I could not move forward until he helped me understand what this closure sounded/looked like for him.

This is what is said in general and not in order because there was talk and questions in between:

I wanted to know if what she said she felt for me was real (I asked him what she said and she told him that he was the love of her life and the best thing that ever happened to her).

I needed to come to the conclusion on my own that I was were I needed to be, and I am.

I needed to do that because when I came home last year it was under duress and once that went away I needed to sort it out.

I needed to figure out were I really belonged and who really cared about ME, who was really there for ME, who really loved ME.

I did all that last fall, I got to come to my own conclusion and it took awhile to sort it out. I am sorry. I am and will forever be sorry that i have done this to you and us. I don't blame you to walk away.

Last year at some point I guess after he came home somnewhere popped up a joke about "I won" meaning he came home to me.... it was said in a jest and we are a sarcastic humor couple sometimes so it was said tongue in cheek about being what I won... ya know boobie prize that such a thing.... last night in the conversation he got quiet after telling me the stuff above and and said "I know your going to laugh because we said it as a joke but I am not joking now.... you won Sandycay, but I am not a good prize.... I am sorry. I will make it up to us somehow.

I ask him if he ever was going to talk to her again in any way and he paused and then said "No"

I said are you sure of that 100 percent? Are you willing to bet everything on that? He said absolutely.

So then (based on some legal advice)I told him I expected him to sign a post nuptial agreement then that would entail no contact, if there is I will file, I will put her name in it so she will be served at work (thus getting her fired and dragging all her lovers & the poor wives into the mess) and i will get everything... house, retirements x(3), boat, cars, & kids. I told him he was free to put anything he wanted in the contract too. But I told him he needed to be sure about it... and he said "No problem, is it going to cost a lot to draw up those papers?"

Always the money man! So, I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but I told him it will help me feel safer.... and if I have that financial security .... I will feel safer to be able to stand on my own.

I did research it and you really need a lawyer to draw it up for most judges to look at it seriously.