Thank you all again for your support and advice. It is spot on and I am doing everything in my power to not talk R and focus on myself.
I had my first DB phone counseling session and it went well. Cheryl backed up just what all of you have been saying and we worked on me just being breezy, light and casual with H; and, to do things for me. She told me it was not too late to do a 180 on my approach and have done so with some success over the past couple of days.
I was tempted to talk R Monday but went biking instead and so glad I did. His attitude toward me was so much more relaxed. Yesterday I asked if he wanted to cook out chicken kabobs and go to the local floral nursery. He agreed and again he seemed relieved no R talk. I actually relaxed myself.
Right after my phone consult yesterday, I felt good and intended to keep things light and try and do positive activities by myself or ask if he wanted to join me and if he said no to just say okay and go off on my own. I was in a really good place when I hung up the phone but than...
Minutes after I hung up my H called and said he was feeling really emotional, he wondered if I could talk. I told him I could meet him in an hour. When I did he didn't choose to talk and I did not coax him to do so. He simply cried a bit and just told me he felt an overwhelming sense of sadness and felt a huge void. I told him he could talk with me about whatever, but he just choose to not say anything. The rest of the evening went well and he never did talk about anything with me. Last night he told my I had an incredible smile and this morning H seems a bit withdrawn.
I can assume my 180 approach not talking about R confused him. Could that be it? Or, have others experienced this and what does it mean?
You are all very wonderful special people who care and I cannot tell you how much it is appreciated.
Michele
M 42 H 41 No Kids Married 1993, Together since 1986
