He thinks the M breakdown is all because I took him to court for to seek a protection order. Even though the court was held in camera-ie not a public court-he feels I`ve destroyed his reputation and so I should leave the home. And anyway, he says he can mind the kids every bit as well as I can.
In this country though,(Ireland) the mother is generally given custody of the children and it is also preferred by the family courts that the children stay in the family home.
I have sought legal advice on this issue in the past and urged H to do so but he says he doesn`t want to go to a solicitor or to the courts ever again. Even though he is not willing to negotiate the terms of the separation with me in terms of finance or anything else so taking him to court would be my only option in terms of forging a separation.
In other words, I believe, he does not know what he wants. Except that he is adamant that he doesn`t want me.
Ok, he`s in a fog. And yes, I can see how he needs to blame me. Oh and ignore the fact that the affair affected the M or indeed that he physically intimidated me in the first place("it was just an outburst of anger". Yeah, right)
But I get that I have to just listen and not defend. And I suspect given that I am definitely not leaving my kids, that I`m in for a major punishment from him from now on.
How to play that one? I just don`t know. I do feel very sad about all of this.
I am so sorry that I didn`t listen enough before, that I was too defensive and less carefree. I`m sorry he bottled up so much and didn`t share.
