To answer your question...H knows that ow is not welcome at my house. The party was here at the house...H never asked to bring ow with him and I didn't mention it either...
I guess he understands my boundaries....
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
C Thanks How did you get over the fact that OW would have a R with your kids Im still having a hard time processing the fact that this women who slept with my H while we were still together may have a R with my kids and do the kids go into the R not knowing that this women and their dad started a R while dad still M? I get a lot of conflicting opinions on this peace
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
In my case the ow is not a bad person, she has just made bad choices in her life. She treats my children with kindness and they really like her. It was hard to accept that at first. But as a mother I prefer my kids being happy and feeling loved and secured, to torturing them about the morality of it all. You know, kids are smart....they KNOW anyway...and when they are older, they will certainly have their opinions about this all, as they do now sometimes allready... I don't see ow as being part of the rest of H's life. Therefore, she will only play a small part in my childrens' life, and if she is kind and friendly to them, then the better off my kids are.
However, I do not approve of the ow's choices...this is the reason we could not be friends one day. She played a part in the destruction om my marriage and family and even though I have forgiven her...I will not forget.
Peace,....it is all hard, and it all takes time, lots and lots of time...but one day something miraculous seems to happen...we let go. Truly let go...the one thing we had wanted to do for so long, but couldn't achieve...just happens...and it is truly a breath of fresh air !!!
If you still have any questions or don't understand what I mean to say, please let me know, I will try to answer them as good as I can !
take care !!! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Cinders I find it v. interesting that your Hs OW thinks he is not complete without you! If that were me I would want to make damn sure he never saw you not invite you to be part of thier lives!
Your assessment of her is spot on.
Insane!
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Enjoy the beach and know that you've put your best foot forward.
The ow is a sleaze was trying to manipulate you into doing something for her. Another train of thought was that she was hoping you would play along and your h would get sick and tired of you being around and rush a divorce. She didn't have the best interest for you or your h at heart....only hers.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Well ow has many 'tricks' up her sleave... Sunday she gave H slices of watermelon to give to us to take with us to the beach ...(???) Then, I called H late in the afternoon, as we were still at the beach and wanted to go and have dinner, and we would probably not be home early AT ALL...to ask him to keep D10 overnight so that she could get to bed early...he did so, without any problem...then whilst thinking out loud on the phone I said..."oops I have no bread for tomorrow..." and I could hear H repeating me and ow saying 'oh no problem, we'll get her some bread for tomorrow and drop it off' (?????)
I have NO idea what her plans are here...maybe it is all genuine wanting to be nice...but somewhere my gut keeps telling me there is an alterior motive to all of this...
I guess it will all be clear in time, as most things are...
H was here this afternoon to see D10 perform with her drama group and he came by a little earlier...had some coffee with me at the house and we had a chit chat and I even tried a card trick on him. It was a relaxed atmosphere. We still feel so close, yet you can tell there is a world of difference happening in our lives.... I detect him feeling a little nervous about me dating. But he hasn't mentioned it AT ALL to me.
Right now, he's being a good dad and he takes good care of us. I am thankful that we have as much, for many others have been left in the dark, with many many financial worries and stress.
May you all have a wonderful day still...
Take care xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
