d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

Well I'm hanging in there. I picked up D4 from daycare yesterday and we went for a walk and fed cows and kittens. Spring of the year, lots of kittens !!! My little one just loves them. Some we have to bottle feed, which is time consuming but they are babies and my heart melts for them.

Never heard from H the whole day (yesterday) Funny he used to even "check" on us when it wasn't his day with D4 or he'd want to put her to bed. Who knows, maybe when I gave him a reality check on Sunday how his divorce will change everything, maybe it finally sunk in and he's running away again.

I saw his close friend when I dropped off D-4 at daycare this am. He asked how I was doing! I said I'm learning to adjust. We are extremely rural, everyone knows everyone else in our town. He told me he can't believe it and is shocked, he said even the town is shocked about all of this. He told me he hasn't seen him since January, (and they were very close !!) My H is slowly pulling away from even his closest friends. I guess the one thing he said to me really hit home. He said he knows him well and that he will come to regret this decision.

I know he will regret it too, but by then it might be too late. I didn't say that to him, but I really did think it !!

That's what hurts the most. I remember being hesitant on dating and then marrying a younger man. But he was my everything, we had hopes and dreams. Wow, what a slap in the face. I will be ok I just hope I will learn to trust someone again.

What's new with you today??