There will be high days, there will be low days. That's for certain. No need to beat yourself up. Rest assured that the lows will pass, the highs will pass. The only constant is change- that is also true.
I know how you feel, I am very anxious as well about my future and telling the kids about my M. I went to see a school counsellor today to get some help with what to tell the kids. It was a very emotional convo, I cried a lot but it made me feel a whole lot better because it brought me help and I felt like I was not alone.
Mark, the no-job sitch is not forever. The lows will pass. What I found was that if I let things ruminate in my head, my depression would get worse. So you need to do an activity that takes your mind off it for awhile, like going to gym - endorphin high and also good to get out of the house.
So don't ruminate. Break the day up. Make sure you HAVE to be somewhere, meet a buddy or something to take you out of the low mood if possible.
I know depression is very tough especially during the first few months. But I promise you, each time you go through it, it will last a shorter time. Then after awhile, you will just get down for a few minutes and then you will find a way to pull yourself out of it. The key is to keep busy and positive.
Think about what you have done that is positive. You have improved your R with kids, you are starting or have started volunteering which benefits SO MANY people. You have doctors to help you and counsellors who care about you and you have this board of folks who check in on your everyday because we all care about you. You didn't have all of this when the bomb hit in December. You see how far you have come?
Mark, hang in there, we are all cheering you on!
Me:39 H:40 S:9 D:7 First Bomb ONS:June 07 Second Bomb OW: March 08 Separated: March 08 M:15 yrs T:18 yrs H deep into A with OW Achieved ACCEPTANCE May 30, 09
