PM Thread #5 - Hope new plan works

[25yearsmlc]

"Half your fault"....um forget that. It's a lie isnt' it? I mean if it IS true, fine. OWn that. But I doubt it.
Why not Say "If I could do things over, I'd do some things differently. But It didn't turn out the way I wanted it to...(then turn the convo into a positive--) BUT I'M SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU KIDS IN MY LIFE I WOULD CLIMB MOUNT EVEREST IN HIGH HEELS FOR THAT" you say this in case they feel responsible for anything. Your telling them that THANKS TO THEM, you look back on the M fondly, OVERRALL-- I told my kids that if the only way I could have them in my life was to go through hell and back with H, and even end up div, I'd do it all again in a heart beat. Despite the crap and unfairness, etc. I was grateful for the M for it gave me THEM... and I told them that often. They are the most important sources of joy in my life and the best "achievements" I've made. No divorce or crappy M will ever outweigh that and you must not let your anger at your h, no matter how richly deserved, EVER outweigh your love for your kids.

See if you can find the book "What About the Kids?" and read it. Don't give it to your h either. If you must, then not until after you've read it and even then I'd highlight the parts that won't guilt him as much. Like focus on what you both must say and how to act around each other and things like that. WHY? B/c The beginning of the book is so sad about divorce and your h will see that as pressure probably. So, maybe just have it laying around in a place THEY cannot see it, but your h might?? Really just read it for yourself so your questions will be answered.

Gotta get some sleep now. Take care,

(( j ))