It seems to be working.... sometimes #2

[Silent Chrleader]

Hey, Bud.

I tend to think your only alternative is really to take a deep breath, lie low to let things settle, then go with what your instincts tell you. You have great instincts, Sandy!!

Unfortunately, like me, you tend to mull everything over and over and end up driving your self nuts with over analyzing all the possibilities.

My gut tells me that he is done with her and where he wants/needs to be, and that's a good thing regardless of how he got there. However, I also completely understand about the fact that this is huge blow to the trust between you and I'm not sure you can really get past that without doing something to really get this issue resolved for both of you!

I also think that, with your values, you will never be able to be happy in your own mind and heart if you walk away when there was still some life in your marriage, and I definitely know there is still life there for both of you despite the pain, anger and mistrust.

There's a story I once heard about George Burns and Gracie Allen. Everybody knows that George Burns absolutely adored Gracie. They had been married 42 years when she died and he didn't follow her in death until 32 years later. He always had some young woman on his arm but he never remarried. He is buried next to her with the simple words on their memorial "Together Again".

Well, the story I heard was that apparently at some point in their marriage, George cheated on Gracie. Apparently he felt so guilty about it, but he couldn't bring himself to confess so he went out and bought her an expensive new table centerpiece that she had been wanting and he had thought was too extravagant. He said it was years later that he overheard Gracie telling a friend that she wished George would cheat on her again, because she was really tired of that centerpiece and wanted a new one! George had never realized she knew......

I love that story...... he knew where he belonged, and she knew he knew, and that was that. End of story. What strength and grace.

((((((hugs))))))