I suppose it depends on what type of people she has for "friends". If they are divorced or cheating on their own S's, then that is why some are supportive. Others may find it something to brighten up their dull lives and have something to gossip about.
One of them is divorced, the other two are having troubles in their marriages, one of which is really on the rocks now. I feel bad for their H's. Them hanging out with my W is the worst thing for their M. Out of my control though.
I know my W has told them lies to make herself not look so bad. I know she told them our marriage was over years ago, and that we had already separated inside our house before she started the e-mail correspondence, and that our separation was mutual between us. All lies.
The truth is, my W started her EA while she was supposedly working on saving our M. What a joke. I can't believe we sat in MC and she never mentioned the OM once. How could she possibly think the MC was going to do any good? She just wanted to think she was giving it one last try, when she did nothing of the sort. She just dragged out the inevitable, leaving me absolutely frustrated and perplexed why none of what I was doing was really having any impact in our marriage. When I read in DR about it, MWD said that if you're doing all the right things (I was about 90% solid) and your W is still saying their feelings aren't changing, there is someone else involved. I remember thinking, "there's no way anyone else is involved, she's never out of the house long enough when she's not working." I didn't even think about an e-mail EA. Lesson learned.
Quote:
Some people might tell you to "stand for your marriage" but all of us are different and I believe that if you already know in your heart that it is over and she is not going to turn back to you, that you need to let her go.
I have been trying to save my M for about 18 months now, really about 3 years if you count all the years my W was effectively telling me that she isn't happy and that if something doesn't change, she's done. I've completely turned myself around. I'm in the best shape of my life, I'm a positive influence on virtually everyone around me. I feel better about myself than I have in many years. My W isn't coming back and it's breaking my heart, again. I can't do it anymore. She's totally invested in the OM. She has a five year plan with him.
I asked God to release me from my marriage vows tonight. I can't go on like this anymore. It's hurting me and I have nothing left to fight for.
Thank you everyone who has helped me, bluerain, sandi, aliveandkicking, sara, antlers, blueheart, stillloveshim, kara, JLK2009. You are wonderful courageous people. I will continue to post here to try to help others and get support for my situation. I need to move through the separation and divorce process with grace and dignity. I haven't allowed her to drag me down to her level yet, and I'm not about to now.
