Thank you so much Cire for your words of support and encouragement. Just to be reminded y people of these things means so much. Sometimes when he is being nice and charming itseasy to forget that he is unhappy; he acts as if everything is exactly how he wants it.

My little girl is struggling, there is no doubt about it. She spent quite a few hours with my H yesterday and that seems to have calmed her down a little; she loves him very much and it does alleviate her distress to some extent when she sees him.

My main aim is that D7 is stable and secure. Thats really the most important thing.
I heard from my H yesterday; after a period of disgusting behaviour he is now using the tact of extremely nice and accommodating and unfortunately I became short with him He was ringing from his ex wife's house in relation to our D's school play tomorrow. I rang him back there and told him that I was more than happy to speak with him but not at that number. I do not feel comfortable ringing there under the circumstances.

I am struggling personally with so much. Am trying to keep it in my mind that it is MLC but my fear is that all of this isnt. He moves from the OW to ex wifes house to our house with ease. He has chosen the OW as his preference. There is nothing I can do about that. But it hurts to think that after ten years he can not see any worth in staying with me and working on our commitment.

I know OW is irrelevant here, what is important is my life. I am trying to live it in the best way that I know. But I simply do not understand..... he seems so happy and settled with her; its his silence on the topic which makes me realise just how serious it is for him.

I also accept that his family have gone; I was always so close to them and it just seems bizarre that we will have nothing to do with each other now, especially my step daughters and my sister in law, H's sister, who is dying. I haven't seen/spoken with her since middle of January.

All I wanted was to be in a happy committed marriage and have my family around me.

Has anyone else had this experience before of OW taking your place and you being obliterated? How did you cope?

I go to court today for an informal private meeting with H and solicitors to try to sort out access. I hope that we come to a fair and honourable agreement.

Every day that goes by I think to myself I dont know what has happened. I never wanted this. I miss and love the husband that I thought was there. Yet I am having to go through this process of separation because he wants a new life? I was never given a choice and yet he has cruelly defined all of our lives with not a bat of an eyelid.

Guess I am tired of the struggle and rejection today