So, God help me, if it is darkest before the dawn, I'm there. Those words, past tense referring to him having "tried," they really got to me.
I am noticing that I have to blame either him or me. Right now, is it because I feel so rejected that I think he must really be awesome (any club that would have me as a member...). How do I fix this, forgive myself, learn to love myself. When I turned 30, I thought I was there and now, I feel like an empty canvas, but with two kids watching me and needing me and even more, watching him.
Yes, I'm sobbing and complaining and I'm nearly done...I promise.
