Yuck. Today was kind of a lame day. I found a little peice of a picture of H that I had torn out of my scrap book, just his face. It was in the middle of my garage floor. Kind of bizarre really. I am really missing him lately. Trying to just keep going. With life, work, etc.

I think that my main worry right now is money. I would feel so much better if I could pay my bills! I sometimes wonder if I miss him as much as I miss the security of my old life. I am ready to make that security happen for myself, but I dont have to means to do so. I cant use my skills to do much more than I am already. I am applying for jobs, but I have applied for more jobs in the last year and been denied than ever before! Its frustrating, H isnt going to keep paying the mortgage forever, and I am tired of losing the things I love (ie: my home) because of what hes done.

I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...