I can understand why she can't see it, but don't her friends see it?
I suppose it depends on what type of people she has for "friends". If they are divorced or cheating on their own S's, then that is why some are supportive. Others may find it something to brighten up their dull lives and have something to gossip about. I actually had people to tell me how great I looked and wanted to know what I was doing for myself! I did look good b/c I was "working" at looking great and younger (especially since the OM was younger than me). It was all those false "love" chemicals flooding my brain and gave me that "glow". It sounds sickening now. Try not to blame yourself for her "state of insanity" b/c there is nothing you can do that you have not tried that will cause her to snap out of it, shape up, or stop the on-going fantasy. By the time she discovers the "reality" of her dream.....it will become her nightmare and she won't be able to turn things around to have what she once did.
Some people might tell you to "stand for your marriage" but all of us are different and I believe that if you already know in your heart that it is over and she is not going to turn back to you, that you need to let her go. Someday when she sees what she's done and if you are still around and single......she may even want to go back home to you, but by then.....your feelings for her may be nothing more than pity.
She will have her little "cheerleading group" for a while.....until they grow tried of it and find something else that is more exciting to them. Five years is a long time to wait and by that time, if she is in MLC, she will probably wake up. I really think it will be sooner, but some have been there that long.
As I told you before, you keep coming here to express your feelings and frustration. Keep looking to the board for support b/c even if the M doesn't make it.....we are a community of supporters. We believe in surviving a D if you can't bust it.
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
