Originally Posted By: oldtimer
The only time she breaks out of that role is when D is on the horizon and she can start to feel like single woman/lover rather than wife/mother. It isn't the *single* that is important there. It is the woman/lover. And, I think you have shown you both that you can be a man/lover to her woman/lover. You just need to make that work in the context of an M side by side with wife/mother and husband/father.


FWIW I think this is a huge part of it. When things get to this point, all of the old roles change and everyone begins to relate in a different way. Breaking out of the old "comfort zones" and roles that we consciously/unconsciously place ourselves and each other into within the context of a R or M. Once your interractions with each other change, then the dynamics change and people start feel free to explore different roles. I also think that there is a lot of validity in what DQ and OT are saying. I can only speak for myself here, but once I felt completely relegated to the role of "wife/mother" the ability to be "wife/dirty girl" kinda died out. It wasn't even so much that my H made me feel that way, but I took on that persona and it was hard for me to let it go and in doing that, it was in turn hard for H to see me as anything else. Its a cycle that feeds on itself.
Like we all tell each other, don't keep going down cheeseless tunnels. Examine whats worked and try and go from there. Don't give up Pup, if there was really no way for her to express herself sexually with you, the "hot" encounters that you had recently wouldn't have happened. Mrs. Puppy has some work to do to figure out how to be both "mom" and "hot sex, Mrs. Puppy", but in that you both have some work to do on examining the boxes that you have put yourselves and each other in within the context of your R.
Not a slam, just an opinion.


M:39
H:39
K:S14;D8
T:22yr
M:15yrs
S:12/28/07 EA/PA
3/14/08 OW preg
11/17/08 born
12/12/08 his
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Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option