Divorce looming #13

[K4D]

Now that I have my internet up and running, I can post fully. I had been using my blackberry to post and its not quite as friendly as a computer.

25, I read all of your posts fully and thoroughly. My neice is doing better. She wasn't eating for a while, but they seem to have gotten that under control. I don't have a picture of her yet, so I will call and ask them to send me one so I can show my girls their new cousin.

I am just trying to adjust to this new life of mine. I had lunch today with Jaguilar and really enjoyed it. He brought a friend that was also very nice. I got the buffalo tenders at the resturant. They were good as always.

There are some benefits to this. For instance, the other day, I was grocery shopping and trying to think of meals that we normally have and it dawned on me that I don't have to make what we normally have anymore. I can make what I want to eat. I can make new things for me and the girls. That was kind of an enjoyable thought. I can experiment now.

My job is going fine. I am learning it. They are training us pretty well. As soon as I am done getting this place set up, I am going to start studying again and figure out how to be part of group activities again.

I decided I don't like going a full week without seeing my girls, so I am going to discuss a better schedule with W to see if I can see them more often. I know the girls aren't fond of going a full week at a time without seeing each of us to.

My girls do like the apartment. They keep saying are we going to your house daddy. I tell them its our house.

You are right about the fact that I have got to stop thinking negatively and think positively. Instead of looking at what is wrong, I need to look at what is right. I think right now I am a little overwhelmed with getting everything set up in this apartment. I'm not used to doing it all on my own.

I will check into those books as soon as I have time. My relationship with God has been alot of praying for my M to be saved somehow. I also pray for strength to handle whatever comes my way. I pray that God take away my worries and anxiousness about things. I pray that I have new opportunities to build my career with time. I pray I can get full custody of my girls. I love having them with me.

If I go after them in court, there is a chance per the L I spoke with that I could end up getting standard visitation and paying my W child support. I'd rather have the 50% time with my girls than chance losing that.

I have a friend that I used to work with in Florida that I found out moved here and I called him yesterday and we are going to meet up probably this weekend. I have another friend that I am either getting together with this week or next that I met who has been through this twice.

Right now I am trying to keep my cool around my W when she is around as I am more angry at her than anything these past couple of days. We kind of got into it a bit yesterday as I was getting stuff from the house for my apartment. I think I was just tired of giving into her. I can't joke around with her or she gets all pissy. So we just had some arguments here and there yesterday. It wasn't good DBing. Or maybe it was because I wasn't just laying down for her anymore. I have done that long enough. I decided if I have signed my lease and this is becoming official now then I am going to stand up for some things. I wish I would have done that sooner. She doesn't like it either.

I am so glad to have my girls here with me. They truly are wonderful. They are a real blessing. D11's attitude is gone. Thats been nice. She has been organizing the kitchen. I let her take ownership of it. She seems to enjoy it.

D7 is just watching TV at the moment. I'm getting ready to make dinner now.

Kevin