Thankyou everyone..Hey GFI! no, its too far for a taxi and he DID invite me, so he wants me there.. and I wont have seen him all week, so I dont think its too much to go?
I'm more worried about the phonecall we just had. Problem is, there is no communication. He sounded shut down and distant and even said he was tired and irritable (but my BFF says to remember he has depressoin and is struggling and wants to go back on ADs).. he had football but got the time wrong so made everyone turn up too early and felt bad for messing up, as he said and looking a fool and annoying everyone. I tried to validate and say I can see he would feel bad. He asked about college but wasnt really listening to the answer and after 10 minutes of chat, said he wanted to go and then said, oh well, I guess I will talk to you tommorow..or something. He just sounded like a man cornered.
Jody suggested I tell him, you said you wanted to take this slow, absolutely, I think thats right and I am ok with that. BFF said to say ask him how he wants to work this, is he comfortable with having space in the week and perhaps we can do things on the weekend, but he doesnt have to feel like he should phone me every night. Trouble is, we havent and dont talk on this level (and never on the phone).. so she said, try saying some of these things as soon as you can.. when you next see him. Both she, and Jody said, its about setting healthy boundaries for hte new R that we are both comfortable with.
After hearing the tone in his voice, he isnt sounding at all comfortable. BFF was saying we have been friends then lovers then this tremendous split tore us apart and now we need to put the trust back and that will take time.. and I said, I know it does, as it did after my EA and I know it takes lots of TALKING and reassurance. And then I realised, he has given me none and doesnt look like he intends to. He hasnt even said he wants me back.
