How do I not let this control my every thought?

[Travis]

kat,
how do you keep from being bitter? Is it time? This is my second marriage and I've almost forgot my first divorce. We were young, high school sweethearts, had a child. She decided I wasn't who I was in high school and wanted out. I put up with a lot of crap during it all. Lucky for me, my wife now and I got together soon thereafter. We shared through the turmoil together. She told me when I found out about OM that the boys would never be used against me during this no matter what happened. She remembers what it was like with my daughter and my first wife, because she was there, and guess what? Now she's doing it. Like I said, I put up with a lot with first wife because I felt like I would be able to look myself in the mirror every day and know I didn't stoop to her level. My daughter was only a year old. She didn't know what was going on. My boys now are 7 and almost 4. They are being messed up through all this and I try not to fight or argue with her about the boys, but it's my responsibility as a parent to stand up for them. I won't be pushed around as far as my sons are concerned. She can do whatever she wants to me, but they need to be left out of this. I can't make her understand. Maybe she just feels that's the only way she can hurt me now that she's gone. You'd think she'd have better things to do with her time.