K, It is not rosy anywhere for men or women - we are fooling ourselves with this fairy tale "happily ever after". I think I gave you this example before: suppose you had the fairy tale passionate superior man and he got paralyzed from the neck down before he's even 40?
You are not perfect and you are the first to admit that! But I think you are very smart and loving - there's a lot more to smartness than how much salary one earns. You know that the communication dynamic sucked and you contributed to it to some extent and which is why H withdrew. Models and techniques like "the 4 horsemen", "I messages", "sorry you feel that way" are all empty without commitment! So I'm glad you are saying "commit to work on things" or else ... I wish more of us did this when the first red flag went up. And remember you have some of your own issues too so its going to be hard work for you too.
I see some things coming in the way here: (1) Most of the opinions expressed on these boards are very "American" where marriages have become so disposable and the society is quite sick as a result of the "me-ness". You live in Greece where there are other customs and traditions. Like divorce is taboo, it is probably also traditional for the man to be the bread winner and the women to stay home with the kids. (2) It is natural for you to want to feel empathy and support from your friends here but its keeping you stuck because each time you complain it gets amplified a lot and reinforces negativity. (3) Your H is not posting here.
I am trying to get you to think much more positively of your H. From what you've said he's generous to you with money, he care's enough to come by and take the children out at least once a week, he pays the school fees, he hasn't exactly abandoned you, he cares for your opinion on his work, you've said he loves you, to him you are still his "wife", you often say he is a "good man", "Married for 8 years, Together 12-13", ... please add to the list of what you genuinely admire about him and let him know too.
I'm writing this in a hurry so excuse by carelessness.
