"I think there's another theory, far less complex, that would explain her behavior:
She loves me, loves being married and loves our family, knows sex is very important to me (primary LL), but just isn't attracted to me.
In fact, by her silence to me asking her that last year, she more or less admitted that."
Yes, I think that is it. But, that doesn't mean it has to be that way. HM has it right, I think.
There is a good chance that the reason that is the case is that when she is with you, she is in the wife/mother oppressed sexuality role. The only time she breaks out of that role is when D is on the horizon and she can start to feel like single woman/lover rather than wife/mother. It isn't the *single* that is important there. It is the woman/lover. And, I think you have shown you both that you can be a man/lover to her woman/lover. You just need to make that work in the context of an M side by side with wife/mother and husband/father.
