I hired a moving company for all the heavy stuff on Wednesday. There's still a bunch of little and some medium-sized stuff still though. Tools, some of the kids books and toys. At this point, I'd like to get rid of a lot of the stuff that's left--they prob. won't even notice, I think I'm going to take the kids and just say if they want it, pack it up or I'll take care of it (by throwing out). D9 has hundreds of stuffed animals and has a lot of them here already. I've also encouraged her several times to take a box or 2 of toys and books over to her dad's apt. She doesn't have much of anything over there, but she does spend 2 days there a week.
My parents passed away a long time ago, prob. why I put up with so much cr** from H. My big brother lives in Seattle. He would help, but too far away. I do have friends that have offered, but are as busy as me, and I do like to be independent as possible. My landlord did help me hook up the washer & dryer tonight, and btw, he and his wife were cool about the damage. I'm going to try to repair and replace as much as possible though. I hope the pets calm down & get used to this place soon!!!! Karen
OK, waiting on H to call me so we can meet me at the halfway point. I'm going to go over to the old house and try to get a bunch of the stuff still there and work a bit. An idea that occurred to me, H called & left a vm yesterday & mentioned he would drop off the kids sometime after church today. Of course that could have been anytime from like 12 to 8. I'm thinking about emailing him and requesting that he give me say 12 hours notice with pickuptime. Not like an exact time, like 3 but maybe tell me 3-5 or 12-2 or 6 to 8 or something like that? And at least 12 hours notice would give me time to check my vm and email and not have to be checking every hour as I'm doing now. Karen
I dont think that it would be unreasonable. He should be able to understand, Im sure that he would need notice as well. Maybe it would help if you phrased it that way, that the two of you should start giving 12 hr notice to eachother. Or at least a 2 or 3 hour window instead of cable guy times (sometime between tuesday and thursday!). It seems like he has a pretty concrete arrangment for his part of the week, but Im just thinking that it might seem a little less confrontational.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Oh, hey karen, can you take the old toys and things to a womens shelter? It might even make your kids willing to part with more... What toys would you like to give to another little boy/girl who has no toys?
And you can get a tax receipt for it. The shelter here will take almost anything, shampoo, dryers, tires, anything. Alot of the women who end up there have left with absolutely nothing but their kids.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Well, I'll try but D9 is really attached to her toys. I'm hoping to have some stuff we can donate though.
So after talking to Kat on the phone, I got sick of waiting and left to drive to the old house to work. H and the kids drive past me about a block from the new house on his way to drop them off. Didn't email or voice mail; I guess if I hadn't been there then he would have called me. I think he just expected me to be sitting there waiting for him I guess. We always have been doing the halfway pickup point too, I guess H wanted to check out our house. It's perfectly fine in a nice neighborhood, much better than our old house actually. So I think the whole almost missing them makes the whole notifying thing even more obvious. And I like the way you suggest that I say we both should notify each other I was going to say when possible, unless something last-minute comes up or something. Karen
Just so you know I did try to get a hold of you several times Sunday. Did you leave your phone in the car again?? lol Thanks for the chat we did have and I guess we will be able to finish that conversation on the next go round. Hope you are enjoying your job.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks, I wound up doing errands and groceries and stuff until late. Every night this week. It's a nice job, not stressful at all. Super nice people. The people in my office are nice, and everyone on campus. It's like the Disney of community colleges, although maybe a lot are like that. But if you're looking for a job anyone, it's a great place. My only concern is that H is throwing fits about me working now and not being able to be with the kids 24/7 or daycare for them. If I do daycare at this point, I wouldn't be able to pay my bills. My L says she will look into asking him for child care or upping the child support or alimony to help cover that. With this job, I basically have just enough to make up my bills, and cover emergencies, like that traffic ticket I got last week. I hate to say it, but I'm still going to look for part-time weekend work (when H has the kids). But I've been trying for the past months so I'm just grateful for the job I have.
A new fight with H is over summer camps. I told him I wouldn't be able to help out with the $$ until I get my first paycheck (it's monthly and it works out you have to wait a month to get paid b/c of my start date. I told him I could help out the last weeks in July after I get paid. He wants to put her in summer camps in his town which would be an hour drive about in the am and pm for me so about 2 hours total driving each day.
D9 and I want her to attend summer camp in my town which is 15 minutes from here for me. They have an art camp in the am which she's done the last 3 or so summers, and a theatre camp in the afternoon (the theatre we volunteer at) and a bunch of her best friends will be in that. My ? is I was planning on doing all the driving if she attends the camps in my town, but if he does put her in summer camp in his town (more expensive than my little town so I can't think why unless it benefits him legally or just wants to make me drive hours everyday?). I was thinking about saying if he does enroll her in his town fine, but I won't do all the driving, I will do half as we usually do. Petty or reasonable? What do you think?
I couldn't even imagine you being petty. Just let him know that what you just said: that you can get her to the camp and back everyday if she goes to the one in town but if he is insisting on this other one, he will need to cover at least 50% of the driving.
As for the job, you were working 4 hours a day 5 days a week on the ad job so why is he going balistic now? He just wants to make your life difficult because his must not be going so well. He wants to share the misery.
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I couldn't even imagine you being petty. Just let him know that what you just said: that you can get her to the camp and back everyday if she goes to the one in town but if he is insisting on this other one, he will need to cover at least 50% of the driving.
As for the job, you were working 4 hours a day 5 days a week on the ad job so why is he going balistic now? He just wants to make your life difficult because his must not be going so well. He wants to share the misery.
That's kind of what I was going to email him, I see myself as trying to be fair, and he will see it as blackmail which is how he kind of does things.
He emailed me the day I got the job asking if it was temp (like the last one) or permanent? I said permanent I hope, and then he asked what I'd be doing about the kids? I emailed back same as we've been doing, letting S15 babysit her! He does that too! But he says it's diff. in his sitch b/c he lives in an apt. complex vs. the country and he is close by when he's at work(true, I do have a 40 minute commute). Karen
