regarding the intimacy issues...very personal. I chose to keep it in my separation for a variety of reasons but struggled with it mightily first. Spoke to my DB coach about it a lot. Our sex life had always been a good thing for us. I wanted to stay connected AND felt it would contrast with his life elsewhere. We were a in a warm (figuratively and literally) place with love and laughter and intimacy here, and he did not have much or any of that where he was. So I wanted it to contrast with what he was seeing out there in the tundra. It'd likely have been very diff for me if there had been a serious OW.
Do not let others tell you what to do on that and let your feelings and your h's behavior before during and after, help you decide. ( No offense to A&K, but your sitches are so very different. But sure it's a super personal decision.)
Nicole, you said your h felt badly afterwards. B/c YOU did? Or what? Just asking.
See what your c tells you, and what your heart says and don't confuse staying connected with cake eating. There is a difference, and only you will be able to know what that is. If I were a WAS and feeling doubts about my h and I, and we stopped ML altogether, I don't know how that would help me come back. BUT if I were also seeing OM and getting it at home (and thinking like an alien) who knows? Maybe I'd like getting it at both places OR maybe if my own h cut me off, I'd stick it out with OM...hard to think like an alien for me and some men are way different than we are about ML.
Talk to a DB coach if you can. It's soooo worth it. ((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
