regarding the intimacy issues...very personal. I chose to keep it in my separation for a variety of reasons but struggled with it mightily first. I wanted to stay connected AND felt it would contrast with his life elsewhere. We were a in a warm (figuratively and literally) place with love and laughter and intimacy here, and he did not have much or any of that where he was.
Do not let others tell you what to do on that and let your feelings and your h's behavior before during and after, help you decide. ( No offense to A&K, but your sitches are very different. But sure it's a super personal decision.)
Nicole, you said your h felt badly afterwards. B/c YOU did? Or what? Just asking.
See what your c tells you, and what your heart says and don't confuse staying connected with cake eating. There is a difference, and only you will be able to know what that is. If I were feeling doubts about my h and I, and we stopped ML altogether, I don't know how that would help. BUT if I were also seeing OM and getting it at home (and thinking like an alien) who knows?
Talk to a DB coach if you can. It's soooo worth it. ((( j )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
