WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

You've taken some really great steps on your end. Now it's up to her. Like you, I wish I could peel open my W's head and figure her out, but unfortunately we can't.

Your W has been contradicting herself since Day 1 about how you're the one that has hurt her, she can't get over the hurt, etc. Yet she calls you all the time. Let her turn that "hurt" focus on herself and give her time and space.

That's why it really is patience...patience...patience.

There is a WAW at work who has very similar complaints with the husband that she left back in Dec. I've been talking to her to try and understand what could be going through my wife's head. Even she can't understand it as she says my wife is sending many mixed messages and seems very confused.

I had told her that I was originally going to wait a couple of weeks before I asked my wife for some one on one time. She laughed and said that it took her almost 4 months before she got settled after she moved out. I told her that I wasn't going to wait that long, so I said I would extend an open invitation for lunch after 4 weeks.

I've been trying to give my wife time and space by not calling her nor initiating contact. I don't want her to feel like I'm ignoring/neglecting her by not responding - I think that's what my wife was trying to say a couple of weeks ago where she thought I was cold. That's where I made the mistake of extending Dark/Dim to when I was with her as well.

Fortunately the folks here straightened it out for me.

You are right though, since she moved out, there has only been one or 2 days where my wife didn't contact me via text/email/call.

I am trying to be patient, but I get anxious when my kids get upset. I know I need to be strong for them.