The panic will eventually settle down (believe it or not). It's the over analyzing that can make you insane too. "What does that mean?" "What's he thinking?" you know exactly what I'm talking about. \:\) It does get better. It's still the suckiest (is that really a word?) thing I've ever done.

It's good that your brother and sister-in-law understand. it takes alot out of you and if you have to be "worried" at work, well that's just something else you don't need on your plate right now.

Reading other people's sitch's can give you hope or panic you depending on what you read into it. Remember though that everyone is different and we all just do the best we can. Just as you're doing in your sitch.
I know you're still looking for the "right" thing to do that will fix it and make him "see" what he's doing and what he's loosing. There is no one "right" thing. Look after yourself and your D4, do it with style and be the best expression of you that you're capable of. When you know better, you'll do better. don't strive for perfection, strive for grace.

HUGS