You are not doing it all. She is trying. You can't see it.
When I was looking for that email from your W, I read the first page or two of the beginning of your last thread, before you were hurt and defensive again.
Look at who you were then. Read what DQ and I are saying as THAT version of puppy and see what you get out of it.
You have slid back to your old assumptions, to your old ways of viewing W that, again, have gotten you nowhere.
Try that other puppy on again. Feel love, feel good, feel hope, feel giving -- then see if you can find compassion and understanding for W in reading recent posts rather than reasons to hold tight to your old rigid perspective.
BTW, you might want to temper your attachment to the NPD story if for no other reason than that probably at least 50% of people on these boards think that the WAS has NPD when they get serious about D. In most cases, it is a stage, the spouse-has-NPD stage. But in most cases it is merely a stage in the LBS's perspective rather than anything true about the WAS. NPD is very very rare. I doubt your W could be a good mother or a good friend with true NPD.
