If she's so "changed" and fired-up with the new sexual passion of a woman in her 40s, then why in the hell didn't she try that with her HUSBAND, before she did it with some pimple-faced boy half her age???
No, this isn't about SEX. It's about VALIDATION
Whoa, there, pardner.
You may be right, but also you may not.
In twenty years -- regardless of whose 'fault' it was -- you two built up STRONG habits of interaction.
I can very easily conceive a situation wherein it was MUCH EASIER for her to explore stirrings of resurgent sexuality with a brand new person with whom she had NO patterns, NO habits, NO baggage. People CAN change, even in the setting of a LTR, but in real life it may seem MUCH easier to 'start fresh' with a new person.
Also, in a (very assbackward way), it's a compliment. Your marriage is part of the fabric of her life. You have children together, your financial lives are intertwined. The stakes are HIGH; you MATTER.
As totally freakish and destructive as it was ... it might have been 'less threatening' to her 'real life' to experiment with a more sexual persona in a way that (because of the secrecy) didn't impact her life with you. Mind you, that is of course totally delusional and wrong .... but I've seen it in other situations, and it could have been part of her fogged-up thought process.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
