Again Puppy...you may have been the far more HD person in your marriage BEFORE NOW....going back to the beginning....but she is changing as she ages. The old truths you knew about her and about yourself are changing rapidly.
Just because she never carried them (new kinky things) on after you introduced them, doesn't mean she didn't want to carry them on. It means she wasn't comfortable being the one to introduce them...again pointing to OT point about her being uncomfortable being a dirty girl but WANTING YOU to lead the two of you down that path. If she had NEVER ever let you introduce those things and/or never ever enjoyed them, then I could see your point. But the fact that she did enjoy them when YOU introduced them makes me think even more that OT and I are on the right track.
She's not going to carry them on...but she does want you to introduce them and help her have fun with them. What more do you want? Why isn't that good enough for a start? I know you want her to reciprocate everything...but that will have to be addressed in MC or in open honest discussions.
If you've noticed that the only time she seems to get hot and worked up is when you get things kinky and hot, then isn't that exactly what we're saying??
I appreciate that you want it to feel authentic for yourself...but aren't there some ways you can be kinky that DO feel authentic for yourself?
Please don't downplay how much of a libido killer it is to be a wife and mother. It can be the equivalent of being impotent to a woman. Please don't just do the "but she IS my wife and IS a mother", because that doesn't help you to understand anything at all. All it does is show that YOU are actually reinforcing her inability to break free sexually by having that attitude.
She was FIRST a sexual woman, and THEN a wife and mother. If that wasn't the case, then how could she have ever become a wife or a mother? We as women KNOW our sexual power...but it gets dampened the moment we enter that problematic family circus...then our worth and power become diluted by the other areas of our lives, by our ability to nurture, etc. We lose our worth for our ability to be sexual at that time. It is difficult for us to get it back....
Let me tell you though that I can guess that as she is gazing in the mirror for 15 minutes at a time, she is wishing and hoping for someone to see her beauty and to want her desperately and to give her mind blowing sex. I had said in a previous post, she is "doing herself" when she is mirror gazing. She is fantasizing about how she would look on the back of a harley riding off into the sunset, with her legs wrapped around a strong man. Now...that man can still be YOU.
But really Puppy....can you just try to let go of the first 15 years as evidence of who she is and what she wants, and instead be completely open to the idea that you have no clue who she has become, and begin getting to know the "new her"?
