Not knowing what you're moving forward to isn't necessarily a bad thing. There's a difference between goal-directed behavior ("this year I will take up fly-fishing" or whatever) and goal-limiting behavior ("this year I will take up fly-fishing and only fly-fishing, even though I live nowhere near a trout stream").
Set goals; achieve goals; set higher goals. Let the river take you where it will. All you can control right now is how hard you paddle and when you float with the tide.
She's going to do it her way. No reason for you not to as well.
SmileysPerson - Wow, that was pretty deep. I actually had to reread it a couple of times to make sure I got it. I think I did.
I guess my ultimate goal is to make sure me and my boys are happy and well taken care of. I guess I should not "limit" that goal by saying that will only happen if my wife stays with us as a family. I know my boys and I want my wife to come back to us - even though they visit her 50% of the time.
My immediate goal is to get my wife to agree to go to lunch together and I will not talk about the Divorce or anything like that. Depending on how that goes, I may try to do that 2-3 times before I ask about going out for dinner with her. I'm taking the approach of dating/courting her all over again.
I would love to have a goal of having my wife start going to therapy, but that would be an example of goal limiting.
Did I get that all right?
Me 41 WAW 36 S 3&7 M 10 yrs W files D 1/9/09 W moves out 4/18 Lost job 6/15 New job 7/27 Disc PA 8/10 (started Nov 2008!) Confronted 8/11 Admits PA & appologies for hurt 9/11 Lost Job 11/13
