Thanks Sandi, Kevin and FIB for your continued support and thoughtful posts,
W & I talked yesterday... or more accurately stated, she talked and I did a lot of listening and validating. She said she was tired of being in Limbo and is ready to move on. "I understand that's how you feel". She said that the kids need closure and this isn't fair to them. "I understand that's how you feel, it's not fair". She said that she's turned a corner and she's just not interested in prolonging this any further. "I understand that's how you feel"
Then she said that she had met with an attorney, and would like for me to sit down with this attorney and see if we could work out some sort of collaborative arrangement. I kind of froze, and didn't say anything. She said that she hopes we can just come to an arrangement that works for both of us and we can walk away from this as friends. Again, I said nothing but continued listening. She said that the attorney would like to meet with me to discuss this, or she could send me a letter letting me know how this could work. I said nothing and continued to listen.
She then said "I know this is hard for you, aren't you going to say anything?"
That's where I guess I lost my DB cool. I said "I'm not interested in sitting down and discussing anything with your attorney. If you have an attorney, I guess I will need to get one also. You know I love you and always will, and I will always treat you cordially and with respect especially around the kids, but if we get divorced, we will not be friends. Friends don't do this to each other."
And then I got up and left. She had a look on her face that looked like a cross between "I can't believe you just said that" and "You are such an a$$hole".
So that's it. I blew it, I tried too hard to fix it, and she's been driven away.
