Wow, thank you that meade me feel so much better. I know it is wrong as far as DB goes...and frankly it didn't feel good at all to be in the crying, sad begging stage...but it is obviously so natural to want to express to them how horrible you feel and how awful this all is. Good point about not being judge and jury. I really do believe that compassion for what he is going thru makes me the better person. (although I am pretty sure that I have always been the better person! LOL!) That is part of what he said was his reason for leaving me. That I deserve more than what he can give me. That is a cop-out in my opinion, but at least he knows. Question...are you and H still having sex? Sorry if that is too personal, but i just wish that my H would at least persue me in that way...I miss that so much. We have only have had sex once since he left...about 2 weeks ago. It was incredible...but I felt horrible afterwards and I wasn't in DB mode yet so he felt bad...apologized a million times and so I don't think he will do that again. And I know it is wrong to persue that. I am just afraid that he will get it somewhere else. He probably is.
Anyway...I too have to deal with all the sadness and questions from the kids. Actually it is only my oldest. My little one just covers her ears and says "no no no no!!!" whenever he comes up. My oldest is sad, concerned and the question asker. She wants to know if we are going to counseling, when he might change his mind, if I am sad, etc. You are so right...they truly are the heartbreak. I guess that is another reason why I refuse to give up. They deserve for me to give it my all. My H loves the kids so much...we have always had so much fun with them, and his pride in them is immeasureable. (sp?) That is one funny thing...he has always (even until very recently) been so proud of us as a family. He talks about us with such pride (so many people who are shocked by this have told me this...) about ME and the girls. He would invite people over to our house and show everything off...the view cause we have a good one..and us. He is actually a bragger! So...it makes it hard to figure out why he wants it all to go away. I did have a mini-breakthrough in my therapy session yesterday...one that gave me a little hope...but cautious hope at that. And I cannot go into detail about it here. It made me feel better nonetheless that there could be an outside influence on his behavior...one that has to do with an addiction so to speak. Nothing too serious, but maybe more serious than I originally thought. I love what you said about "be a woman only a fool would leave". That is my mantra for today! I know that I already am...but there are definately some areas that I could have been better about when we were still together.
I am sure that everyone thinks this as they are attracted to their own S...but why does he have to be so freakin hot?? My H is really good looking and it makes it so much harder too. I should have married an ugly guy!!!!!!
