d-day coming soon - help !

[misshim]

H's b-day is coming this saturday. We never used to do anything for each other because of the money. Do you think a good 180 would be to get him a b-day cake and maybe a shirt? Maybe says Happy B-day Daddy on the cake (of course from D-4). It's my weekend with d4 so I'm not sure if we will even see him. If he doesn't show up then d4 and I will make our own party. H told me a month ago that he was going out of town for his b-day/memorial day weekend, but now as of last night he said he was going to stay in town and work on his brothers house.

His "friend" must be to busy herself. I don't think he has been at the strip club to see her in a long time. Unless he's taking cash there, because before he was writing anywhere from 2-400 checks a week at the club. I told him awhile back that she is a professional and is only using him to get money from him. (he really doesn't have much) He maxed his credit card on her (at least my name isn't on it) and of course bought her 2008 chev impala. He told me that she pays him for it every month. Yea, yea. Boy was he shocked when I told him this past sunday that she does have a older man that takes care of her plus other clients. I have it been told to me that more than likely the vehicle he bought and is titled and licensed in his name is being used now as a drug car. I kept my lawyer informed on all of this, just in case someone tries coming back on me for some debt or legal trouble.

Lately he's been at our house, hanging out & sleeping on the couch. A few months back he'd drop d4 off at home and he'd be dressed up and showered and always in a hurry to leave. Now I can't seem to get him to leave (I don't want him to) I'd like to talk to him more about d-day and trying to save our marriage but I was always the one that talked about our relationship (when he was living there) Oh yea, I was the one that used to beg him to "talk" to me. If I talked about our R now, it would be like the good ol' days and he'd be ticked off. Maybe?? or do you think I should say something.

Maybe I should just take a deep breath. Out of curiosity, could he stop the divorce the day of it?? I guess that's my dream, not his.