How do I not let this control my every thought?

[Travis]

Puppy,
Most everyone knows about it. She works with the guy and several of our friends work at this place. My family, her family. One week after moving out, only 5 weeks after discovery, she started taking my kids to his house. She even brought his mother with her to pick up my kids on Mother's Day. So everyone pretty well knows. She doesn't seem to care. We live in a small, rural community, so word travels fast. Another hard part is that my wife and mother were best friends for 10 years. My mother's not one to hold back words and she acts like she's mad now, but I know she's hurt more than mad.
Funny you say addict. I guess the stress of knowing what she was doing was taking it's toll on her. She lost around 20 lbs before I found out and she didn't have 20 to lose. Add to that her bizarre behavior and I actually asked her if she had gotten mixed up in drugs. I told her if so, fine, we'd get help and work it out. Now I know it was just the guilt eating her up. She and my boys moved in with her dad. The same dad that lives 45 minutes away and came saw my boys only about once a year.
I still haven't been good about staying detached. I go a couple days without contacting, but I miss my boys and wife. I call to talk to the boys and the only way I can do that is by calling her. I know I need to do better, but my boys have been here every day of my life. It's so hard only seeing them every other weekend and one day a week. Attorney is working on temporary custody now because she's been taking the boys to OM's and spending the night. He says it's a long shot, but we have to do it for the boy's sake. The are going to be messed up in this enough as is. The 7 year old is old enough to be hurt by this. The 4 year old doesn't really understand right now.