SHOOT ME...

[mishka422]

(((((Lola))))))


Sweetheart, I had lost your thread for a while and didn't realize it. I'm so sorry I wasn't here posting along to you while you were in the deepest of the hole. You have always been a wonderful friend and shoulder to cry on for me and I can't apologize enough for not being here for you.

I'm here now and want you to know that I admire your strength and courage. To be able to even see a new start for yourself takes an enormous amount of hutzpah!

The six weeks have been the worst of my life. I realize that I have held a lot back, trying to spare everyone of my inner most thoughts...even the friends I have that care about me the most. I thought maybe if I didn't allow anyone in, then no one would see how really screwed up I am.

Lola, I think you and I must have been separated at birth in this respect! I'm sure you know this already, but I'm going to say it because I need the reminder too....your friends do NOT want you to hold in your emotions and thoughts. If they would rather not hear your pain, then they aren't real friends. I've done the same thing, held in the pain and struggle because I don't want to scare them off. I thought that showing them the suffering would make them see me as weak and pathetic. I even held back from my family. I still do it, but not to the extent I did.

Don't wear a mask to your friends, they will see right through it and then possibly stop trusting you because of it. If they don't get the real you, they may stop being real with you too.

I'm so excited for you and all the changes you are making in your life. New state, new job, new challenges......new LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

I will be reading along and you know how to get in touch with me in the alt (my number is there also if you want to chat). I luv ya girl!!!