WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

She is finally starting to THINK about things w/o all the pressure of a Marriage.

Keep on doing what you're doing.

Does it matter how long it takes if your seeing POSITIVE signs.

Make a list of all the positives NOT the negatives.

PMA

PMA_Baby!

Thanks for checking in on my thread again.

Problem is I don't know what I'm doing right now. It just doesn't feel like I'm doing anything other than just moving on with my life and adjusting to the new routine. I guess maybe that's the big thing that I need to do. Adjust to the new routine and move on with with my life so I can work on me. That way I will be the best CIPA I can be. If that includes being her husband, than great, if not, I need to make sure I will still be OK.

I guess the positives right now are:

1 - She still continues to call/contact me almost everyday and we still see each other at least once/week and eat dinner together as a family. This will likely increase to at least twice a week as my 7 year old starts soccer.

2 - Last Friday's conversation, even though she said that she hadn't changed her mind, it was the first time she said anything about working on the relationship after she works through the issue of feeling hurt everytime she sees me. It almost sounded like she was taking some ownership to her problem of letting go/moving on from the hurt. Or it could have just been a down moment for her.

3 - When I suggested that we try to meet up for lunch so we can have some time for just the two of us this week, she didn't flat out say no. She said that she would see if she had time this week. I guess that could be her polite way of saying no, but I will still treat that as a positive

She did wind up calling me this morning as my 3 year old wanted to talk to me. He asked if he could come home with me on Weds after baseball. It was her Weds this week so I said that I could only if mommy was ok with it. So I asked him if he asked mommy. He said she said no. I told him then I couldn't. He broke down crying/freaking out on the phone. My oldest got on the phone to chat with me while my 3 year old was crying. I told him that I loved him and missed him.

My wife got on the phone and I asked her what that was all about with my 3 year old. She said that she didn't know. She said that my 3 year old never asked about Weds after baseball and she was ok with it since she would have extra time on Monday as it was a holiday. I said that would be great as I would definitely welcome the extra time with him.

I then told her that I would talk to her later and said goodbye.

So I guess another positive is that I will be getting an extra nite with the boys this week!