WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 9

[confusedinpa]

Sat was uneventful - she had sent me a few text about tactical stuff - I didn't answer as I thought she would call me later that nite so we would talk about it then. She didn't call.

On Sunday, we went to a brunch together (late Mother's day brunch). I had the boys each pick out a flower to give her when we met up at the resturant. She seemed surprised and liked it.

The brunch went pretty well until towards the end, my youngest asked my wife why she took so much stuff from our home. ACK! My wife said that we still had way more stuff at home than what she took. I tried to explain to her that my 3 year old was looking for the wooden dump truck that he and I built and I had told him it was at mommy's place. I then asked if he could bring the firetruck back so we could build it next weekend. She said that she had bought it and wanted to build it with him. I just shrugged and said ok.

On the way out, she said that she had to stop to go to the bathroom. I just said "You do?" - her apt was only 2 minutes from the resturant. She said never mind then. I said that she should go if she had to. She said she would wait. She seemed upset.

That was pretty much at the very end of brunch. Not the way I wanted to end it.

I was a little sad saying goodbye to the boys. They were both extremely huggy and clingy as I put them in her SUV. My wife didn't say much, just waved goodbye as she drove off.

I almost called a few times to ask if she was OK, but figured that was not the right thing to do. I went to church after brunch and did the yard work and cleaned the house some.

I called my buddy to get some beer and wings to knock myself out of the funk on Sunday nite......

This really sucks!

I allowed myself to get a glimmer of hope from last Friday's conversation where it sounded like she wanted to find a therapist so she could work through her issues so we can work on us. I need to remind myself that the brutal facts right now is that she has filed for divorce, moved out and still has not changed her mind. This is the reality.

I sent my lawyer an email to find out what I can do about the child support hearing. I'm hopeful that we can get what my wife and I agreed to as the support - otherwise the number could easily double to almost $2500/month! Hopefully I'll get some good news from my lawyer. I did tell my wife that I was going to talk to a lawyer about this. Maybe that's why she was acting a little off this morning. Who knows, I'm not going to waste any more time trying to read her mind.

I know I need to work on me and get a life so that either way this goes, I will be ok as I will continue to be the best CIPA I can be.

I wish I was actually as confident/strong as this post is starting to sound, but it is helping me get focused on what I have to do....