Could use some insight...long...

[volleydog]

I don't want to let go. I would not initiate the D and I won't move it along any faster than it has to go but I won't do anything to delay it either.

Somehow I think you need to have a serious convo about what you want and what she wants. In other words, what will it take for her to work on the M and what will it take for you to work on it? Make these things specific and needs. What keeps you from having that convo with her?

We had this talk and she says there is nothing she can/will do to work on fixing the M. She doesn't want to revisit the old feelings, period. So right now the only thing I can do is wait I guess.

I did something REALLY stupid last night. 99% of the time when I call to talk with the kids her and I always talk after. One day last week I didn't really want to talk with her so I hung up after talking w/k's and she said I hung up on her...Last night she gets on the phone and says hello i say hello and pause and she says well you called here...that really pi$$ed me off...but we talked for a few minutes...Later I call her back and say I didn't appreciate the comment and that maybe it would be best if I just assume she has nothing to say to me and if she does she can just call me back...She didn't like this at all and it turned into a pretty big argument and now I'm not sure where we stand. I just don't like being the one that pretty much initiates every conv we have because I'm calling to talk with the kids. I feel like every once in a while if she wants to talk she should call me and if she doesn't no big deal...